Edamame Man here, reporting on Event 36 in this silly 50@50 Project. Although the mortals, Dave and Camera Crew, are my earth friends, I still think it's silly to have to take an entire year to do fifty races. Why, Blueberry Tart and I could complete 50 events in 50 seconds, if we decided - and if Edamame Man's back held up. I would need to stretch first and hope there was no lifting of objects over, say, 25 earth pounds.
Some super heroes are called to action via fancy spotlights, like Batman. Or they just listen for trouble, like Superman. Us? Dave contacted us through the usual method - he found us at the all-you-can-eat wonderfulness of Hometown Buffet on SE 82nd Ave in Portland. www.hometownbuffet.com Of course, I was only there to monitor the eating habits of you mortals and NOT to partake in helping after delicious helping of this food you call 'gravy'.
You see, mortals - Edamame Man fights for nutritious snack foods for all! I received my powers for fighting evil unhealthy foods and my arch-nemesis, Fat Snacks, during a lightning storm in 2006. It was a dark and stormy night. I was home alone, nuking a pizza so I could melt extra cheese over it once it was hot. My dinner was ruined and my dessert plans - to lick up the grease from the pepperoni - were foiled when a bolt of lightning struck the transformer outside my apartment, sending 19 gazillion gigamegananovoltwattohms into my body via the microwave. As luck would have it, I had recently started dating this woman who, in addition to having excellent taste in men, ate foods that were very healthy. She had brought over this thing called 'edamame' and left some in my freezer. When I was zapped I fell backwards, knocking the freezer door open. As the electricity coursed through me, edamame fell out of the freezer and into my mouth, transforming me into...
Edamame Man!!!
Blueberry Tart got her name because she has blue eyes, great legs and, well, you've seen pictures so you know she rocks the color blue!
Together, it's our duty to do whatever it takes to fight for nutrition and healthy foods for all of mankind!
But remember - Hometown Buffet doesn't open until 11, so if there is evil threatening to take over the world before 11 AM, well, you're out of luck. I know it may be an inconvenience but we aren't at that level of 'super' yet that we can just drop everything else and sit by the
This race was called the Super Hero Fun Run and was a fundraiser for the Oregon Music Hall of Fame, which supports music programs in the public schools. They also provide scholarships for high school seniors who are continuing their music studies in college. Edamame Man and Blueberry Tart strongly agree with this charity. Music is important to society and it disappoints us greatly that music programs are cut from schools. Read more about the musical mortals and the support they provide at www.omhof.org
We arrived at the race via MAX train. Yes, we could have used our powers to get there much faster. And by 'powers' I mean 'car' - but parking is such a hassle. Besides, it's good for the mortals of this city to see their heroes up close and personal whilst we rode on the train. Although Edamame Man wishes the one homeless gentleman with the garbage bag full of empty beer cans wouldn't have been so 'up close and personal' as to smell his super power. Oy.
It was good to mingle with the other heroes, many of whom we haven't seen in quite some time. Seems a lot of them have been busy filming movies like 'The XMen' and 'The Avengers'. Blah blah blah. They think they are soooo cool. Edamame Man is just waiting for the call from Stan Lee to be in the next SpiderMan flick. Waiting. And waiting.
Let's see - Wolverine is still sporting those ridiculous sideburns. 'Hello, Wolvie - the '70's called - they want their sideburns back!' Haha - zing! Wonder Woman was looking fine, but Edamame Man had to be careful that Blueberry Tart didn't catch me using my x-ray vision, if you know what I mean. Hulk still has issues - he wouldn't even talk to me and refused to fist-bump Blueberry Tart. Jerk. And we saw Batman, who looked like he had, um, er, let himself go a little. He didn't look like he had eaten at Hometown Buffet - he looked like he had eaten an entire Hometown Buffet! Visited with The Incredibles - they are a neat family. We invited them over for a BBQ - we'll see.
It was time to start the race, finally! There were a LOT of little kids in this event. Lots of families there enjoying the morning together. Most people were dressed up like their favorite super hero. I scanned the entire crowd using my super vision - okay, I'm actually just tall so can see over the heads - and didn't see a single mortal dressed like Edamame Man. This hurts a little, people - inside. Blueberry Tart to the rescue! She suggested that the Edamame Man costumes were all sold out in advance for Halloween. Ahhh! This made perfect sense! Of course!
The race was underway!
Now, we realize we haven't done as many races as Dave and Camera Crew but we also realize that this was a pretty crappy course layout for a race that is designed to attract lots of little ones and lots of strollers. The route took us north along the water front, through Saturday Market, down the big curb and across the MAX tracks, UP several flights of stairs to the Burnside Bridge, across then DOWN more stairs to the East Bank Esplanade. I mean, come on. Mortal women struggling with strollers, little kids running around in view-obstructing masks, etc. Maybe next time a simple one level, flat, out and back route will suffice. Of course, it was no problem for us because we're super heroes, although the stairs caused Edamame Man's hip to ache like he had just been lashed by Catwoman's whip. Meeee-OW!!
We finished the race, no problem. We were a little disappointed that we were not noticed as much as some of the other heroes. No autograph requests means I carried these Sharpies for NO REASON WHATSOEVER. Gawd.
We were happy to help out our mortal friends by completing this event, number 36, in the 50@50 Project.
Mortals, I must take leave now. Blueberry Tart awaits at our booth - and I have just noticed they've put out a fresh pot of gravy...
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